The autopilot

I know a lot of people who think they are acting consciously but they keep doing the same mistakes that make them miserable. I understand. I do it too. And it’s because I’m on autopilot. The autopilot is the contrary of consciousness. It’s all the things you do and you have no idea why.

  • Why do you live in this country?
  • Why are you drinking this glass of wine?
  • Why are you watching this show?
  • Why are you eating the same stuff all the time?
  • Why are you always hanging out with the same people?

There are many activities I do and I don’t really know why. Sometimes I feel that I wake up and I feel “What the fuck am I doing here?“. It doesn’t mean that what I do is wrong it’s just that it may not conscious. Sometimes it’s actually great I don’t even realize it. Bonus point, you can be grateful.

I’m trying this little exercise. It’s easy, it doesn’t take too much time and it helps me simplify things. I ask myself why over and over.

So I’m in the bus and I stress about a client’s project I’m working on. Instead of entering the panic mode I ask myself:

  • Why am I working on this project? – Because I want to have more experience with this subject.
  • Why do I want to have more experience with this subject? Because I’d like to work on other similar projects.
  • Why would I like to work on other similar projects? Because I want to become an expert in this domain.
  • Why do I  want to become an expert in this domain? Because I want to be respected.
  • Why do I want to be respected? Because I want people to love me.

Actually, most of the time, the “Why?” comes down to “Because I love [insert person] (e.g. my wife, my Mom, my friend, etc…)” or “Because I want [insert person] to love me“. I wanted to find something more manly than that but this is what I really feel…

Some times the “Why?” leads me to “Because I hate something/somebody”. It makes things easier, I can just give up. I don’t want to waste my time on anger.

And when it comes down to “I want more money” I can simply see if I need more money to invest in something that makes me better (learn something, exercise or even pay the rent) or because I want more stuff. Even if this is rarely the case, I’m human, I’m not perfect and sometimes I think that, yes, money and more stuff makes me happy. Then I ask myself why and I act accordingly.

Whatever the answer is, it’s interesting to look at alternative method to get to this goal. There’s probably most efficient way to be loved or love than “earning more money” or “being an expert in this domain”.

Or perhaps not… I don’t know, it depends on you. What do you think? What are you doing what you do today?